Friday, September 30, 2011

HEY EVERYBODY...I FOUND A GREAT CHURCH!

GodThoughtsWired!        FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2011
Evangelizing the Church in the Age of Delusion

HEY EVERYBODY...
I FOUND A GREAT CHURCH!


They meet on Sunday mornings and what's cool about it is that the meeting is only thirty minutes long (they have 24 different services that meet every half hour from 6am - 6pm, cool huh?), so it doesn't get in the way of the rest of your day!

The meeting itself is divided up as follows:  25 minutes of the best Rock'n'roll music you'd ever wanna hear (ear plugs are handed out at the front door, along with the StarBucks and McDonald's Happy Meals for the kids-the kids can have StarBucks too, if they want...IT'S CRAZY!).

After the music, the Senior Pastor sets his electric guitar down (he's in the band, of course), and gives a 5 minute devotional that he calls, The Thought of the Day.*

What's so cool about this "Thought of the Day," is that the pastor can really relate, you know what I mean?  He's been married three times (although he is transgender, he's only been married to women, thus far), has been in prison twice, and swears like a drunken sailor!

 In fact, he used to be a drunken sailor, literally!  He was in the Navy for ten months until being dishorably discharged for "disrespecting" an officer. Although he doesn't condone texting while drinking and driving, MY TEEN-AGERS LOVE HIM, especially all of his cool tatoos!  He never talks about money, sin, or anything that might be constued as negative.

Anyway, I can't make it this Sunday, or next, but I'm definitely going back as soon as I can find the time.  Actually, it's not so much for me, but for my kids.  I only get 'em on weekends once a month, so I definitely want them to be grounded spiritually.


*Last Sunday's "Thought of the Day" was AWESOME!  The pastor gave us an introduction to his new book entitled, "The Politically Correct Guide to Tolerance."

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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

7 Reasons to Keep Jesus out of His Church: ADDENDUM

GodThoughtsWired!           Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Evangelizing the Church in the Age of Delusion

7 reasons we must keep
jesus out of his church

ADDENDUM

And one GodThoughtsWired! reader replies,


"I'm appalled by this,
please tell me that you're kidding!"


Well, OF COURSE I'M KIDDING!  The series entitled, 7 Reasons to Keep Jesus out of His Church is intended to be taken as a SARCASTIC REBUKE directed toward "popular christianity" and the ever-increasingly "apostate church" of today  .2 Thessalonians, chapter 2 calls it the "age of delusion and insofar as the "church" is concerned, it may well be considered the "Laodicean Age."
As described in Revelation 3:14-22, the church at Laodicea was HORRIFICALLY DESCRIBED AS BEING A CHURCH WHERE JESUS WAS ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN!
Attributes of the Laodicean church included:
-Blindness.  However, they didn't know they were blind BECAUSE THEY WERE BLIND!
-Poverty.  They were CLUELESS!  They thought that because they were esteemed by their community, both local and abroad, and because they had many wealthy and socially prominent church members who provided beautiful buildings and lots and lots of money...THEY ACTUALLY THOUGHT THEY WERE RICH!
-Desparately needy.  And, yet they honestly believed themselves to be self-sufficient!  UNBELIEVABLE!
The church of Laodicea was a DISGRACE in the eyes of Jesus.  Putrid, disgusting, and hypocritical.  They were an organization who professed to know God...but didn't. Indeed, the church of Laodicea represented the ultimate victory for Satan:
I guess we should all just be thankful that in the "age of enlightenment" in which we live...
Nothing like that could ever happen to us.
Right?

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Friday, September 23, 2011

7 Reasons to Keep Jesus out of His Church Conclusion

GodThoughtsWired!                   Friday, September 23, 2011
Evangelizing the Church in the Age of Delusion

7 reasons to keep jesus
out of his church

CONCLUSION
One final reason why we must absolutely keep the Jesus of the Bible out of today's church:

#7. Jesus said that His followers would be "hated," "persecuted," and falsely accused!  -see John 15:19; Matthew 5:10-11; 2 Timothy 3:12.  Now, obviously, Jesus didn't have the benefit of reading Dale Carnegie's best-seller, How to Win Friends and Influence People, nevertheless...MY GOODNESS JESUS, Your "hate-speech" became a self-fulfilling prophecy for You.
Rather than calling the religious leaders around You, "hypocrites," (see Matthew 23), You should have been finding points of commonality for the greater good...like Rick Warren is doing so fabulously.
Nobody's gonna want to be a part of a group whose leader is always warning about hatred and persecution.  You wound up getting Yourself crucified because of it!
No wonder you said that only a few would be saved.  -see Matthew 7:13-14You're WAY TO NARROW-MINDED for the enlightened "church" of the 21st century.

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Thursday, September 22, 2011

7 Reasons to Keep Jesus out of His Church 4

GodThoughtsWired!              Thursday, September 22, 2011
Evangelizing the Church in the Age of Delusion

7 reasons to keep jesus
out of his church

PART 3
More reasons why we must continue to keep the Jesus of the Bible out of today's church:
#6. Jesus couldn't even keep a small group of 12 men together, much less build a mega-church!  Unfortunately, Jesus didn't have access to the vast amount of church-growth literature and resources that we have now.
While I'm sure that Jesus would have been  more successful had He had access to the kind of education I received (I have a Master's in Church Growth), that said, until Jesus learns to be a little bit more "discerning" with some of the things He says, we must keep Him out of His church...He'll only drag it down
Example #1.  On more than one occaision Jesus said something along the lines of "Your either with me or against Me." -see Luke 11:23.  I think Jesus should sit at the feet of Joel Osteen for a couple years and learn the ways of a good politician.
Example #2.  In every gospel Jesus said something along the lines of "take up your cross..." see Matthew 16:24; Luke 9:23; Mark 8:34. Well, we now know He had it backwards.  References to the cross bring up all kinds of negative imagery.  My goodness - it's an object of TORTURE for Christ sake!  Oh, yeah, that's gonna draw alot of people!  C'mon!  "It's gonna divide the very people we're trying to reach!"
It's no longer "take up your cross," but rather...
TAKE DOWN THE CROSS!
C'mon brothers and sisters...Let's grow a "church!"

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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

7 Reasons to Keep Jesus out of His Church 3

GodThoughtsWired!            Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Evangelizing the Church in the Age of Delusion

7 reasons to keep Jesus
out of his church

PART 3
More reasons why we must continue to keep the Jesus of the Bible out of today's church:
#5. He spoke the truth! -see John 14:6; Ephesians 5:15.  And for that matter...JESUS CLAIMS TO BE THE TRUTH!  Could there be any greater hindrance to church growth than this?!?  As my colleague so eloquently explained it the other night to a global audience on a TV program called NightLine,
"I don't want to divide the
very people I'm trying to reach."

-Joel Osteen, click here to watch
And one of the most important reason that we absolutely MUST keep the biblical (actual) Jesus as far from the church as possible is that TRUTH DIVIDES!!! It divides that which is true from that which is false.  Good grief! 
-Can you imagine what church would look like if today's pastors returned to "speaking the truth?"
-Can you imagine how much money the church would lose if preachers taught the truth?
-Can you imagine how many people would leave the church if they had to listen to TRUTH every Sunday?
I'm quite sure that I don't need to remind you, especially if you are a "mega-church pastor," that there is absolutely NO PLACE FOR TRUTH in the "enlightened age" in which we live.  Live and let live!  What is "truth" anyway?  Does it even exist?  I've got my truth and you've got yours...
Right?
Hey, truth divides.  It's that simple.  Ands as the pastor of the largest, most financially successful "church" in America so clearly explained to the world the other night, truth has no place in today's politically correct, tolerant, fun-luvin church because, after all, "I don't want to divide the very people I'm trying to reach."
Amen!  Preach it Joel!
NOTE:  I'm guessing some of you "old-school pastors" who actually know the Bible might be concerned about verses like Ephesians 5:11 which says, "Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead, even expose them." 
Fear not, much like The Message*, I'm working on my own version of the Bible that will eliminate all of those kinds of verses that have become a stumbling block to so many.
*For a FREE COPY of our booklet, THE MESSAGE: The Best Selling Bible...that ISN"T!  Simply email us your snail mail address and we will send it to you.

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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

7 Reasons to Keep Jesus out of His Church 2

GodThoughtsWired!             Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Evangelizing the Church in the Age of Delusion

7 reasons to keep jesus
out of his church

2
More reasons why we must keep the Jesus of the Bible out of today's church:
#4.  He taught that worship was a waste of time if it was hypocritical. -see Mark 7:1-8  OH...MY...GOODNESS! 
Doesn't Jesus realize how small the church would be if we followed the biblical guidlines for worship?  GOOD GRIEF!  -see John 4:23-24
Why was He always quoting from the Old Testament anyway?  Doesn't He realize that "grace" has wiped out all of that "old covenant nonsense?  -see Amos 5:18-24Thank goodness God isn't like that anymore...
Right?  -see Malachi 3:6; Hebrews 13:8.

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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

7 Reasons to Keep Jesus out of His Church

GodThoughtsWired!              Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Evangelizing the Church in the Age of Delusion

7 Reasons to keep jesus
out of his church
PART 1
Here are 7 reasons we must keep the Jesus of the Bible out of today's church:
#1.  He believed in an eternal Hell -see Matthew 25:41 & 46.  Of course, today we know that this is a ridiculously archaic and outdated concept.  My goodness...it's UNCOUTH!  It epitomizes the intolerance that must be kept out of the church if we are to have any chance to reach the people that God so dearly loves!
#2.  He believed that only "a few" are actually saved.  -see Matthew 7:13-14.  This attitude, of course, is incredibly narrow-minded, and biggoted.  He should have known that "there's a wideness to God's mercy." click here.

#3.  He used negative, intolerant, and politically incorrect language.  see Revelation 3:15-16. This kind of language must not be tolerated!  It is "hate" speech that is devastating to our self-esteem. He needs to take a class on how to grow the church!

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Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Profile of a False Prophet 7

GodThoughtsWired!            Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Evangelizing the Church in the Age of Delusion

profile of a false prophet

7


#7.  They are often embraced by the world and popular with the culture.  Many become famous and rich.  Some become the equivalent of "Christian Rock Stars."

"For the time will come when they
will not endure sound doctrine;
but wanting to have their ears tickled,
they will accumulate for themselves
teachers in accordance to their own desires,
  and will turn away their ears from
the truth and will turn aside to myths."
-2 Timothy 4:3-4
They are "ear-tickling" sell-outs (see Joel Osteen as a classic example).  Yet Jesus made it crystal clear what life would be like for His true spokesmen.
"If you were of the world, the world
would love its own; but because you
are not of the world, but I chose you
out of the world, because of this
the world hates you.  Remember the
word that I said to you, 'A slave is not
greater than his master.’ If they persecuted
Me, they will also persecute you;
if they kept My word, they will
keep yours also."
-John 15:19-20
And why is the real messanger of Jesus so reviled by the world?  Because he speaks the truth in an age that has embraced falsehood.  He shines a "light" into the darkness.  He exposes the "evil" that men love (See John 3:17-19).  And, like his Master before Him, he brings a message that the world does not want to hear. 
"For this is a rebellious people,
false sons, sons who refuse to listen
to the instruction of the Lord... And to
the prophets, “You must not prophesy
to us what is right, Speak to us
pleasant words, prophesy illusions.'"
-Isaiah 30:9-10
And so the "false prophet" becomes "2-faced" (see Rick Warren).   Much like modern politicians, they say what they think the people want to hear.

They are compromisers who have justified their compromise.


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Friday, September 2, 2011

Profile of a False Prophet 6A

GodThoughtsWired!               Friday, September 2, 2011
Evangelizing the Church in the Age of Delusion

profile of a false prophet

6a

#6.  They say everything is OK...when it's NOT OK!  They preach a "false unity," a "false healing," a "false peace," and, of course, a "false gospel."

“They have healed the brokenness
of My people superficially, saying,
‘Peace, peace,’ But there is no peace."
-see also, Micah 3:5 & 1 Thess. 5:3


As an  example of someone seeking a "false peace" through a "false unity" consider that which Rick Warren is pursuing with the Islamic community (click here).  Can you imagine Elijah seeking a "partnership" with the prophets of Baal? It might be sincere, but it would be sincerely WRONG!


"Do not be bound together with
unbelievers; for what partnership
have righteousness and lawlessness,
or what fellowship has light with darkness?
  Or what harmony has Christ with Belial,
or what has a believer in common with
an unbeliever?  Or what agreement has
the temple of God with idols? For we
are the temple of the living God..."


I mean really, think about this for a minute.  Rick Warren is teaming together with the Islamic community for the sake of the common good.  Literally, he is joining together the representatives of Christ (Christians), with the representatives of the anti-chirst (Muslims who follow the Qu'ran) in order to tackle the big issues that face our world.*

Picture it!  Jesus and the Devil, working together, laying aside their differences for the common good.

Really?

REALLY!

*For further study on Islam and the anti-christ, click on, Why Islam is Evil.

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Thursday, September 1, 2011

Profile of a False Prophet 5

GodThoughtsWired!             Thursday, September 1, 2011
Evangelizing the Church in the Age of Delusion

profile of a false prophet

5
#5. They entice through sensuality. "They entice by fleshly desires, by sensuality" (2 Peter 2:18). It has always been this way and sadly, I believe, most of us are vulnerable. Consider the following example from false prophet, Morris Cerullo,
"God said to me, 'Son, tell my people,
after they receive
the New Anointing,
they will experience more answers
to prayer
in six months than any
period of their life."
Later, Cerullo would "update" this "prophecy" and publish it as, "experience more answers to prayer in the next 90 days..." Tragically, there are those around the world who would come to believe that this "prophecy" did not come true for them because...THEY DIDN'T GIVE ENOUGH MONEY.
In 1994 I was at a conference where one of these charlatans was, "ministering." During one of the breaks I went to a local mini-mart. I struck up a conversation with the clerk (a woman in her mid-fifties). When I told her about the man who was speaking at the conference and invited her to come, she began to weep. It seems that seven years prior she and her husband attended one of his "healing services."
The "prophet" called out her husband by name, spoke of his terminal cancer and declared in the name of Jesus that God was healing him right then, right there. The prophet pranced around the stage giving "glory to God." The family came up on stage (their children were with them). They celebrated the "miraculous healing"...Two weeks later the husband died of the cancer.
So now I'm talking to her seven years later. In tears she tells me that she and her family haven't darkened the doorstep of a church since. She tearfully concluded, "I guess we didn't have enough faith."
 "For such men are false apostles,
deceitful workers, disguising themselves
as apostles of Christ.  No wonder,
for even Satan disguises himself
as an angel of light. Therefore
it is not surprising if his servants
also disguise themselves as servants of righteousness, whose end will
be according to their deeds."
-2 Corinthians 11:13-15


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